Sunday, March 7, 2010

Four Words For You

Four words for you: AS SEEN ON TV.

Four more: EAT YOUR HEARTS OUT.

Last night was Bub's school fundraiser, a St. Patrick's Day-themed event with beer, bands, Irish dancers, raffles, live auction, and silent auction.

No beer for me and we weren't there in time for the Irish dancers so I had to focus my party energy on the silent auction.

I am happy to report that I "won" the best item in the entire field and by "won" I mean that I hovered and outbid others for the privilege of buying it. My treasure was actually the class donation from Bub's class: a collection of As Seen On TV merchandise. All the parents in Bub's class contributed different items for the collection (I personally donated Bumpits and Aqua Globes), and there was some entertaining email traffic about who was bringing what. I thought it was the perfect themed gift basket for the kind of event where people are drinking and bidding on stuff that they don't really need.

Hubby and I had joked about the As Seen on TV Collection in days leading up to the event. "You," he said laughing, "are not going to be bidding on that." Tee hee hee. Of course not.

But I knew I wanted it. And I am tired and fat and pregnant and nesting and my birthday is coming up. So, guess what, I got it. NTB. And I could not be more thrilled.

Check it out:
First of all, I want to point out that the cart came with it! NTB.

Now, I want you to get an up close look at everything my awesome prize included.
Wonder Hanger, ShamWow!, StrapPerfect, Bendaroos, HeelTastic, and KidzBop 17 . . . NTB

PedEgg, Big Top Cupcake, Bumpits, Snow Slinger, Chia SpongeBob . . . NTB.

Marshmallow Shooter, The Clapper, Original SpaceBag, Fun Slides Carpet Skates . . . NTB.

The Original Always Fresh Containers, Topsy Turvy Tomato Planter, Pasta n' More,
Turn Your Drink Can Into a Bottle! . . . NTB.

Snuggie and AquaGlobes . . . NTB.

I realize that this "cart of crap," as hubby has been calling it, is the last thing that a woman who's about to have three kids and is trying to keep her house clean and clutter free in the hopes of selling it . . . the last thing that a woman like that needs.

I'm so excited though. I feel like the ten year-old girl who begged her mom for a Super Snacker after watching the infomercial with rapt attention over and over: "Mom, you can make your own mini apples pies with the Super Snacker." I feel like the tween who used to play infomercial in her best friend's basement (sample line from us demo-ing an item called The Big Green Machine, "And the best part . . . your kids will love to clean it up!"). The grown woman who can still be drawn in by the Magic Bullet infomercial and who seriously wants to try the Bumpit.

Plus, there was the additional pleasure of watching hubby wheel the cart of crap out of the gym last night. There is no way for anyone over five feet tall to not look like a hunchback when pushing such a cart to begin with, which was amusing in itself. At least ten people stopped us on the way out to check out the contents of the cart. I'm sure some were thinking, "Suckers!" but I honestly think others were like, "Dang, that is kind of cool." Yep, it is.

And, wait, there's more! This gift also provides raw material for at least twenty blog posts because I am committed to reviewing each of these items for you, my loyal NTB readers. Don't worry, it won't be As Seen on TV day everyday, but I will be writing about the items from time to time until I've tested them all.

So, please stay tuned or, better yet, call now to take advantage of this special television offer.

Let me know in the comments what As Seen on TV items have intrigued you . . .

22 comments:

T-Baby said...

I am disappointed there wasn't a Salad Shooter in the cart. I always wanted to get my mother a Salad Shooter for her birthday or Christmas but she (for some odd reason) never wanted one.

Hubby

dusty earth mother said...

Mep, you made out!! Wow. The only thing missing is the Barak Obama Chia Head. I know you got SpongeBob, but that's not Obama...

LAP said...

There's nothing like the thrill of victory, even when it is "a cart of crap." I'm not saying it is though, especially since I own three of the items shown, four if you could the Happy Meal version of Kids Bop. I am trying to figure out what the snow slinger is. Looking forward to your reviews.

Stacia said...

Somewhere out there in the great beyond Billy Mays is sending you a serious shout-out. And Turn Your Can Into a Bottle?? Where has that been all my life?

Kath said...

This is great! I would have loved to win the "cart of crap". I do have a few of the items pictured and have enjoyed them. The kids really like the snowball slinger! It makes the most perfect snowballs ever. Andy's family is having a "As Seen on TV Gift Exchange" next year for Christmas. Let me know what products you suggest!

E... said...

AWESOME!
I think you should seriously rock the bumpits in every post baby photo taken of you.
Enjoy your snuggie. It's the only way I survive evenings in our basement.

Denise said...

I love the "hover and outbid" move at the silent auctions - whatever it takes, especially for a cart full of crap. But you'll have to report back on the item from the cart that your husband ends up liking the most after giving your grief about it!

Heather said...

Oh, I am jealous! That's an awesome prize!

I, too, have wanted to try a Bumpit. Let me know how it works. And the Aqua globes really do look like a good idea, esp for watering your plants while on vacation.

It was worth it just for the blog fodder. And every kid needs to experience the wonder of the Chia pet at least once!

Sara said...

Hilarious! And so you, MEP! (In a good way, of course.)

Matt and I were just talking about the Snuggie yesterday, how many of them are bought in seriousness versus a gag gift. Thoughts?

msh said...

that is absolutely hilarious! and somehow i laugh even harder thinking of reading recent posts of your attempts to get rid of crap (and even being a bit sad that you parted with some of those movies. i know i watched that when harry met sally with you on that tv/vcr combo in your room) and now it has been replaced with a new cart of crap. more useable crap, though, and that's what matters.

cake said...

i am surprised by how jealous i am of your score! i don't know if i want all of those things, but i want to see them, and know what they are like in person. YOU get to test them all out! i have never heard of bumpits, and am puzzled by them, but i too want you to "rock the bumpits" in every post-baby photo of you. have them on hand, right after the birth, okay?
i have not seen the snow slinger, but i have seen one of those snow ball makers, and they are awesome.
the fun slides look so...well...fun! can't wait for the review posts.
congratulations.

east coast bro said...

hey - there were some silly purchases in the pater household growing up but the super snacker was not one of them. That's a good grilled cheese!!
RIP Billy Mays - without his talent that basket of As Seen items would only be half full. Boy could he sell product

CRegan said...

Lacking both a Hair-dini and the Body Blade, I can only call this cart incomplete. But I am looking forward to reading about all of it over at use-it-or-lose-it. Congratulations, CJR

Actchy said...

My father-in-law gave me a Handy Stitcher one year for Christmas. I have no idea what became of it, nor did I ever actually try it, though I wanted to, on some level.

And I had a strange bacon tray that was As Seen On TV. I had it until my law school Atkins Diet Bacon Lunatic used it 700 times in a row without washing it. I then threw it out without telling her.

Actchy said...

Of course I meant my "law school Atkins Diet Bacon Lunatic roommate" used it...

PITA said...

I was given a snuggie for Christmas from LAP and I love it. It is a wonderful thing.

SET said...

I think I might suggest this for Luke's school fundraiser next year as a Kindy prize. I have wanted to try many of the awesome prizes and got a Suuggie as a Christmas gift from the kids - gag or not, I do enjoy snuggling up with it and a bowl of ice cream at night.

Amy said...

I am laughing so hard I'm crying. But I might have to steal this basket idea for Annika's auction next month.

Anonymous said...

I have no idea how I missed this post until now, but.....I must say that I delighted in it! I smiled my whole way through it, thinking of the "good ole days" and our infomercials. Such fun! Enjoy all the new stuff! Rita

Tracey - Just Another Mommy Blog said...

I think that is WAY cool! We have the Bendaroos. Very fun, but keep them off of the carpet if you have pets. The hair sticks to them something awful. We also have the Marshmallow shooter. WARNING: Make sure you clean that puppy out EVERY time it comes out. As in, with soapy water. I mean, Spit + sticky marshmallows = moldy gun in the trash can. Just sayin. I want that PedEgg and my kids would kill for the Kidzbop 17. Lucky girl!

Regan said...

Twenty comments, who are you Andrew Sullivan now? When do the flame wars start?

melissa said...

Love the pedegg. if you never used one, you'll use it and wonder what you ever did without it!

I am so curious to know if some of them really work, like the shamewow....and the space bags will create space right? so actually, it will help.

Cart-o-crap was a success!
If you like tomatoes, my parents have a topsy turvy and it works well. do update us on what you use.

 
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