"My toe is sick."

Several years ago before we had kids and possibly before we were married, hubby and I were hanging out with some friends at their house after their two young boys were supposed to be in bed. As we were chatting, we heard some little footsteps, turned around, and noticed the older of their sons--maybe around 3 at the time?--creeping down the stairs. "My tummy hurts," he announced. I was concerned for a second until our friends' expressions reminded us that "my tummy hurts" is one of the all-time classic lines for those seeking to stall or avoid a task like going to bed. For some reason, our friends' son's stalling got to me, "They're actual grown ups now," I thought, "with a house and dogs and kids . . . who can already play the 'tummy hurts' card."

Well, guess what, readers, minus the dogs, it seems we're actual grown-ups around here now. The past few weeks, Bub has been honing his stalling and avoidance tactics. Bedtime is already a two-person job. Typically, hubby goes up first and loads the bases -- they read books, play some games I don't understand (like one called "doggies"), and say prayers. Then, four out of five nights, I am the clean-up hitter. First, I am instructed, "Lay in my room mommy." So I lie with Bub on his toddler bed--hoping it won't collapse --for about a minute or two. I then pretend I'm leaving until I hear "Sit in my room, Mommy." I move to the glider and sit. Thirty seconds later, he joins me and we rock for a while. Then he whispers, "Put me in my bed." My job is then to carry him like a baby to the toddler bed, tuck him in, and kiss him good night. That used to be it, but now Bub is learning to mix things up a bit. I may be poised to close his door to head downstairs when I hear a "Mommy . . . Merry Christmas. I love you." Very sweet. And sweet five seconds later when he says it again, and maybe a little less so ten seconds later when he bids me, "Happy Halloween Day." Recently, "Happy New Year is also in the rotation." But we also have some other classics like "I cold." I'll retuck and add a third blanket in response, only to have him call for my husband five minutes later to report, "Too many blankets. Other classic stalling lines, include: "I need Bandaid," "Shh, Larry (Cabbage Patch) is sleeping downstairs," the classic "I thirsty," "I need blow my nose," and my recent favorite, "My toe is sick."

Stalling and avoidance are not just tactics used at bedtime. When it is time to clean up toys, sit on the potty, or leave the house, I am likely to hear either "I cold," "I too tired," or "I working."*

After batting "clean-up" tonight, I still had to head upstairs two additional times. The first time because Bub was "cold." The second time because Bub "really have to go potty now, it coming out." He is wearing big boy pants during the day now but most days still wets one or more pair. He wears a diaper for naps and bedtime. In a charitable mood, I guess, I let Bub come downstairs to use the potty, assuming he was just stalling or that he had already peed in his diaper. But, what do you know, his diaper was dry and he sat down on the potty and did his thing, NTB.

I guess I'm not the only one growing up around here.

What do your kids do to stall and avoid? When do you feel like "a grown up"?


*"Working" usually means making a mess of some kind: cutting/ripping up paper, playing with play-doh, making puzzle pieces rain, emptying the sock bin, etc.