Hey hey Paula . . .

I don't want to marry you Paula Deen (since we're both married already), though I have always enjoyed you when I happen to catch you on the Food Network. And, last year when you were on Oprah and your food processor malfunctioned and food was a-flying, I cracked up right along with you. I've never made any of your recipes, though many of them do tempt me. Like others who have seen your show(s) or read your magazine, I have noticed that many of your specialties seem gratuitously fattening. I understand that butter, cheese, mayonnaise, and cream cheese are tasty. Believe me, I understand! My assumption is that viewers of your show (like diners--myself included--at fast food restaurants) are responsible for making their own decisions about what kinds of food they choose to eat. After all, you're not pretending that your food is hearty-healthy or "figure friendly," to borrow Rachael Ray's term.

I have to say though, Paula, I caught your show on Saturday when I was feeding my Little Bit. The theme was something about brunch with girlfriends. I saw you make a dish that struck me as downright irresponsible, if not criminal. It was a "Lady's Brunch Burger" -- a hamburger topped with a fried egg and two slices of bacon. I'm watching thinking, "Hmm, a bit heavy on protein" but I'm not disgusted or anything until . . . until, Paula, you used two glazed donuts (looked like Krispy Kreme type donuts) to serve as the buns for this "Lady's Brunch Burger." Are you kidding me? You knew you were being bad; in fact, you and your girlfriend who was hosting with you, laughed at your own rebelliousness as you bit into the burger. You may have even said something about being "arrested" for that burger.

I'm wondering if the "Lady's Brunch Burger" was supposed to be served along with the chocolate chip pancakes with cinnamon cream, the baked cheesy garlic grits, and the six inch yogurt parfait? I eat more and more recklessly than most women I know, and I cannot imagine digging in to that burger, much less serving it at a brunch for my girlfriends.

I like you Paula, I do. I'm not perfect and I'm certainly not a paragon of healthy cooking and eating, not even close. But I think you have the personality and cooking chops to engage your viewers without preparing the likes of the Lady's Brunch Burger on your show.

That's all.

Note to readers: Please no piling on Paula in the comments section.