Saturday, September 8, 2007

Cliff Bar and a Banana

Last night, I went to the Jewel to stock up on the Lean Cuisine pizzas I have already written too much about. I bought about twenty-five of them, in addition to some Hot/Lean Pockets for my husband and a couple of Tombstones. Basically, except for my bub's yogurt, everything in my cart was frozen. I am not apologizing for this nutritional imbalance because the sole purpose of this trip was to stock up on the pizzas before they go off sale on Sunday.

I'm waiting in line when this nice young man gets in line behind me. He is a cute kid with a nice smile, likely fresh out of college. He is wearing a t-shirt that says "Ireland," and I am disposed to like him. Glancing at the towers of white and orange boxes on the conveyor, he tactfully observes, "That's a lot of Lean Cuisines." I decide on explanation in favor of testimony: "I'm stocking up before they go off sale. " I then add weakly, "I really like them. I have a freezer." Now, this is a sweet kid. He says, "No worries. I do the same thing when Clif bars are on sale." I glance at his groceries and see exactly one Clif Bar, two 12-packs of beer, and a bottle of wine. Wanting to turn the attention away from my pizzas, I make an obvious inference, "Looks like you have a more exciting night ahead of you than I do." He reveals that he is hosting a Nintendo Wii tournament at his apartment that he just found out about. I am sad to report that in his sweetness and deference, he started this explanation by asking, "Have you ever heard of the Nintendo Wii?" How old do I look?

Soon enough though, the kid is back to the pizzas, asking, "Just how big is this freezer of yours?" Just to be clear, I want to affirm that I really like this kid. He is not flirting with me, just being friendly. I reply, "It's a big chest freezer, probably like the one your parents have." NTB. He then asks, "What about the sodium in those things?" I explain that sure the sodium is a bit high but that I really appreciate the portion control. I briefly consider directing him to my blog to read all about it. He is clearly still confused about the pizza situation so I helpfully add, "I eat them for breakfast every morning." Confusion morphs into concern, and he becomes quite earnest, "I eat a Clif Bar and a banana every morning. It's an awesome breakfast. You should try it." I am ashamed to admit my response to his advice. I say, "How do you think that would go with a Diet Coke?" Now he just looks sad, maybe even disappointed in me. I am sorry about this because he is, like I have repeatedly said, a sweet kid. I start to ramble a bit, "Don't worry, I eat real food too. Like salads and avocados." What I should have said was, "Thanks for the suggestion. I bet that breakfast would give me more energy and be better for me than a Lean Cuisine pizza would."

As I loaded the bags of frozen food into my cart, I wished him luck in his tournament. He hoped I would enjoy all my Lean Cuisines. We parted amicably. I left feeling happy about today's youth and have even decided I will try his breakfast of champions one day and give you all a little report about it.


Anonymous said...

Give yourself a little credit. At least you're not playing video games.

Sara G.

Anonymous said...

What the hell is a Clif Bar?

Anonymous said...

i think this is one of my favorite blogs megan!
and i am sad to report that i don't know what nintento wii is, nor do i know what a clif bar is. i have coffee for breakfast (and sometimes a donut, if damon happened to make the last grocery trip). i think mr. ireland would be sad for me as well. msp

Anonymous said...

Well, I know very well what a Clif bar is as it has been my breakfast of choice for the last year or so. I recommend the Peanut Butter Crunch or the Chocolate Chip. I am glad to hear that someone out there actually thinks that it is a healthy choice for a meal, but I suspect that packaged ANYTHING would be frowned upon by my friends who are nutritionists. Don't let that Irish fellow bring you down. ----Rita

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