Sometimes I have topics I hesitate to blog about because they might make me look petty, unkind, or whiney/complain-y. Usually what I do in that situation is write about the topic anyway.
Sometimes, blogging about a topic can help me to be more thoughtful and reflective, and I end up learning instead of just snarking. Other times, all I can manage is to try to figure out how to write about a topic in a way that does not make me look like a petty, unkind, or whiney person.
Since I'm trying to break back into blogging after two weeks off, I'm just going to go ahead and be petty here about two different topics because I don't have the energy for thoughtfulness and revelation. Forgive me please.
Topic #1
As a sometime-instructor of English, I have often been asked some version of this question: "So, are you checking my grammar right now?" With regard to conversation, the answer is almost always "No." With regard to print, the answer is almost always "Yes, but I can't help myself, and I'm trying not to judge." I've edited thousands of pages of my own writing and that of students (and siblings) over the years. I admit I notice errors and experience a pleasurable sense of control and satisfaction in understanding how to correct them (most of the time, NTB).
Outside (and at times inside) the classroom, I mostly keep these corrections to myself. I know that the majority of people know the difference between definitely and defiantly, there and their, and looser and loser. People rush and make mistakes. Fine.
I saw some particularly glaring errors the other day that I can't get over. The errors were on a bulletin board notice advertising a service as "benefical" and, even better (or worse), "convenyant."
B E N E F I C A L and C O N V E N Y A N T
You know where this is heading, right? What was advertised as "benefical" and "convenyant"?
Tutoring services. Tutoring services!!!! I just can't get over that. I took a copy of the notice, and I was going to scan and post it. That felt extra petty so you will just have to believe me that this notice exists in the world. I am just going to content myself with the hope that those seeking tutoring for their children will pause before hiring an instructor who cannot spell "benefical" or "convenyant" and, possibly worse, cannot be bothered to double-check advertising materials.
Topic #2
My new method for grocery shopping is working out pretty well for me, NTB. I secure a car cart and the boys sit side by side in it. I continue my longtime habit of giving them candy or donut holes (feel free to judge) as we shop to keep them from bothering each other and impeding my shopping progress. Because it's hard to maneuver a car cart without looking like you spent a little too much time in the wine aisle, I place Sweet P's infant carrier in the actual basket of the cart (instead of perched atop the front part--never seems like a secure spot to me). I try to keep the shopping trip smallish and place the groceries around the infant carrier (tricky business because the car cart's basket is smaller than that of a standard cart) and then on the shelf below the cart.* I bring a list to the store and move as quickly and efficiently as possible . . .
. . . until I get to the checkout line. The Jewel was light on help today and all the lanes were kind of long, except the ten self checkouts. I cannot manage the car cart, infant seat, and self check all at the same time so I assessed the various lines, placed my bet, and pulled up the cart. I spot a customer carrying about seven cans of something walking toward my checkout area. Sure, it looked tricky to be carrying seven cans with no basket, but no trickier than shopping with three kids, a car cart, and limited cart space. The woman in front of me in line says to the seven can woman, "You don't have many items, you can hop in before me." To be clear, the seven can woman was not already in our line just pondering which line to choose.
That nice gesture annoyed me because I am a small and petty person. A small and petty person who was also already in that line and who was eager to get through her so-far smooth shopping trip with no incidents. A small and petty person who thinks that the seven can customer could have grabbed a cart or a hand held basket when she entered the store instead of balancing seven cans in her arms. A small and petty person who thinks that an individual with only seven items and no human appendages might be better served in one of the store's ten no wait self-check lanes. A small and petty person who thought the seven can customer and her benefactor should have considered the entire line of customers before making/accepting this offer.
A small and petty person who is a bit ashamed to admit that she audibly sighed and then moved her cart to another checkout line. I am ashamed of that sigh, truly, but I just keenly felt the injustice (yes, I used the term "injustice"-- see how very petty I am!!!!) of the moment.
Judge away and please check this post for errors while you're at it! I'm sure I deserve it.
How petty are you? Please leave a comment to make me feel better.
*Side note: big beef with regard to my Target is that their carts have no lower shelf. Right now, I cannot attempt Target with all three children in tow. Silver lining: will save lots of money.
