Strangely Proud

Bub's been potty trained for many months now and looking back, I'm not really sure how it happened. We bought him a little potty when he turned two and then at various times between ages two-and-a-half and three-plus-a-few, we took a stab at getting him trained through shifting bribes, treasures from a treasure box, lemonems, books, an Elmo video, speeches that he probably ignored, new underwear, pathetic armchair psychology, overuse of the phrase "big boy," and a small fortune in pull-ups.

And then, when he was ready, he started using the potty like it was no big deal.

Great.

A couple of months passed, and he announced that he no longer wanted to wear pull-ups to bed. He wanted to wear underwear. Since he was waking up dry most mornings, we were like, "Sure, let's try it."

Great.

Does he wet the bed sometimes? Yes, he does. Early on, it only happened about once a month, usually when he isn't reminded to go to the bathroom before bed.

Perhaps we've been really forgetful around here lately because he has wet the bed with more frequency in the past month or so. At least once a week, I'd estimate.

But here's the odd thing . . . except for one time when he started screaming and wailing, Bub is the most stealthy and efficient bedwetter ever. NTB.

It's like he notices he's wet himself, gets out of bed, removes his clothes, fumbles in his closet for new bottoms and underwear, and then makes his way into mom and dad's urine-free bed. I usually don't hear, smell, or otherwise notice a thing until I wake up and find Bub snoring on my pillow and clad in a pair of 2T windpants from the back of his closet or a pair of new sweatpants (tags still on).

Pretty impressive, right? NTB.

While I am bragging, I will add that he wet the bed last night and that while I was scouring his room this morning in search of a school picture day outfit, he stripped the damp sheets from his bed and piled them up with his wet pajama bottoms, underwear, and soft blanket. I felt strangely proud.

We ordered a big boy bed for Bub this past weekend (need the toddler bed available for Little Bit should he decided to spring himself from the crib). I guess we could have a talk about how "big boys don't wet the bed," but I don't think I will bother. I will buy one of those plastic mattress covers though.

I'm off to move some sheets and a soft blankie from the washer to the dryer. Tell me though, when have you felt strangely proud of late? Please share in the comments.

Missing: do YOU know what happened to . . .

* the coupon the YMCA sent me that is good for a free month of membership (we are already members so this is a nice little bonus or would be if I had not permanently misplaced this coupon).

* the library book with pictures of doggies that makes a "woof" sound when you press the button -- last seen behind the couch while I was talking on the phone with a friend who had lost the case to a scratched, crappy My LIttle Pony DVD from her library. I don't want to lose this woof woof book, I said to myself, so I'll just leave it behind the couch. It's no longer there. I've bought a reprieve through renewal, but I'm starting to fear I'll never hear that woof again.

* Little Bit's other shoe -- the kid has two pair of shoes, but I can only find one complete pair at any time and it's never the pair I would like for him to be wearing.

* time for blogging -- I actually know what happened to the time. It was stolen by my new teaching gig. This gig requires hours of work at home during my child-free couch, television, and blogging time. For example, I was up until midnight last night. That's okay though because after child care, taxes, parking downtown, and the money I spend buying food while I'm downtown teaching, I am netting some major bucks. HA!!!! I am feeling kind of sorry for myself. It does help when my husband says things like, "I'm not attending your pity party." or "You signed up for this." or "You have to start at the bottom."

* time for laundry, cooking, and cleaning -- I'm not Susie Homemaker to begin with, but I'm really struggling now.

I'll be back soon with a more positive post. I promise!

Culinary Mysteries--MEP's Cooking Up a New Series

I’m not a big mystery reader, but I really enjoy listening to audiobook editions of the Goldy Culinary Mysteries, a series by Diane Mott Davidson. The titles of these books are clever--The Main Corpse, Sticks and Scones, Catering to Nobody, Prime Cut, Grilling Season . . . just to name a few. The heroine, a caterer named Goldy, is really likable. Plus, all the mysteries come complete with recipes.

Though my titles are admittedly less clever, I’m pitching my own series of culinary mysteries.

#1 One Potato, P.U. Potato
After plumbing work was recently done in her basement (installation of tile drain as well as another failed project involving the sewer line, big holes, and wet concrete), our heroine Mighty MEP starts noticing a strange smell around the landing six steps up from the basement. She wonders aloud what the smell might be but is too worried to investigate. She hopes she is not smelling sewage and shares this anxiety with her hubby in a manner that suggests that any problems in the basement are his fault. She feels foolish once she realizes that the landing smell has nothing to do with the basement plumbing and everything to do with a huge bag of red potatoes she purchased at Costco a few weeks back which are now rotten and oozing potato juice. The real mystery begins as Mighty MEP tries to crack the case of the poor potato storage. Short of procuring one of those wooden bins that have the word “Potatoes” or “Spuds” carved into them (picture a 1980s country kitchen), our heroine needs to know where regular people store their potatoes, how they manage to remember they bought potatoes, and what they would do with five pounds of red potatoes? If you have any ideas to help the plot along, please share them in the comments. As a mystery writer, I am also interested in researching a sequel, No Funion, which involves black, soggy, fly-trap onions.

#2 Zucchini, You’re Killing Me!
Our heroine Mighty MEP is the mother of two young boys. Her boys, especially the little one, are good eaters. Proteins? No problem. Fruit? Yum, yum, yum. Vegetables? Sadly, only in baby food form. Our heroine’s older son goes out of his way to mention his aversion to vegetables, “Mama, you know __________ [insert name of vegetable]? I can’t eat _________. Do you know why? ___________ make me sick.” Quite mysteriously, her son often mentions vegetables he has never tried, despite her efforts, except in pureed form. The mystery really heats up then when Mighty MEP’s son comes home from preschool and, in response to her query about the day’s snack, announces, “We eat zucchini. And you know what, Mama. I like it. I really like zucchini!” When I sell the movie rights to this one, I will work hard to cast a preschooler who can deliver these lines with as much enthusiasm as Mighty MEP’s son and who can say “zucchini” as cute as he does. It will be tough. But back to the plot. MEP can’t believe that zucchini was served as a snack at preschool and that her son ate and enjoyed it. She asks follow up questions like, “Was there dip? Did you dip the zucchini in something white?” Her son says yes, but she is not convinced. The suspense heightens as MEP continues to forget to ask her son’s teachers if they really served zucchini for snack. The plot thickens as MEP and the other preschool moms start slipping bribes to the teachers in an attempt to get the school to introduce more vegetables to their picky eaters.

These are just two of the culinary mysteries I’m working on now. Obviously, NTB and all rights reserved.

Stay tuned for information on future books in the series, including a mystery with a working title of “How the hell do all these parents get a real dinner on the table almost every night?” Alternate titles are “Why Do I Suck?” and “What Am I Doing Wrong?” Not clever enough just yet, but I’m working on it.

Any culinary mysteries you want to add to the series? I’d be open to including other writers . . .

Don't you forget about me.

I may be setting a record for the longest lapse between NTB posts. I'm glad to be teaching again, even on a very part-time basis, but I have been tired and overwhelmed lately and not in the right frame of mind to do anything but whine about being tired and overwhelmed. I'm actually making things sound worse than they are because the teaching is going well. I just kind of forgot how much work it was. And yes, I'm going to keep making excuses until regular posting resumes. Right now, I'm hungry and eager to watch Top Chef so here's all I have to offer:

Chuckle at it. Bub goes in and out of an obsession with watching old Tom and Jerry cartoons. When I asked him what he liked about the show, he thought for a couple of seconds and then answered, "I like the music when Jerry be's bad." It is good music.

Read it. I'm only two chapters in, but I can already tell that Jonathan Tropper's This Is Where I Leave You is going to be my favorite of his novels. And I've loved them all. I'm forever grateful to my friend MSH for introducing me to Tropper. Check him out.

Listen to it. I was nosing around on itunes and found a song called "Look at Miss Ohio" by Gillian Welch that I just kind of dig, especially since I am always a Ohio girl in my heart.*

Tell me about it. Have you read Charlaine Harris's Sookie Stackhouse books? Do you watch True Blood? I am not really a vampire fanatic or anything, but I am curious if I should check out the books. Also, are you watching Drop Dead Diva? Is it as good as Entertainment Weekly keeps claiming?

Consider it. Which shows are you going to try to watch or DVR this fall? I'm thinking yes on The Biggest Loser, The Office, 30 Rock, Project Runway, and Top Chef. I'm also going to give Glee a try. I don't think I have the time to commit to Dancing with the Stars, especially since my heart was not in it last season. I'm considering dropping Ugly Betty and Desperate Housewives since I still have episodes from the spring in my DVR that I haven't made time to watch. There is no freaking way that I'm watching the new Melrose Place.

Admit it. I absolutely love looking at back-to-school pictures on facebook. The fresh-scrubbed faces, the shiny backpacks, the uniforms and special first-day duds, the optimism, the hope. These photos just make me feel happy.


More. Better. Later. Sorry.





*a State of Ohio girl, but NOT an Ohio State girl, just to be clear!