Gold Star Husband

When my husband and I were first married, he used to report in with me each time he did a household task. "I loaded the dishwasher," he'd say, beaming with pride. "I preheated the oven and put the Tombstone in." "I took the trash out." “I changed the toilet paper roll.” (Yeah right on that last one). One day, I think I said something like, "What do you want? A gold star?" Since then, we've used the phrase "gold star?" any time one of us wants a little appreciation. "I finished all the thank you notes for the baby gifts," I might say. And then, if I don't get much of a reaction (imagine that), I'll follow up with, "Gold star?" You get the picture.

Gold stars aside, I fear I don't tell my husband how much I appreciate him as often as I should and wish. Our lives have gotten busier and more hectic since we've been parents. Now that I'm trying to figure out how to care for a toddler and a newborn on a day-to-day basis, I admit that I've been a bit more focused on the appreciation I think I deserve. I'm not proud of it, but sleep deprivation and toddler frustration can make one want to throw a pity party. Usually though, I have enough perspective to remember that my life is really good, exactly as it is.

The best part of my life is, of course, the person with whom I’ve chosen to share it. Today marks five years of marriage for me and my husband. I still love him for all the reasons I did back then and now for many more. I always knew that he would be a great father, but to see how much he loves our boys and how involved he is in their hands-on care has been a joy.

So, for the record, here are a few of the things I especially appreciate my husband for these days:

I appreciate that for almost every night (except when traveling for work or working late) since we knew I was pregnant with Baby Boy, my husband has put the Bub to bed. Believe me, the past couple of months, this has been no easy job.

I appreciate the fact that though he does not lactate, my husband did and continues to do his part with the night-time feedings for both boys. Once we hear the cry, he gets up and changes the diaper, hand the baby off to me for feeding, and then takes over if he doesn’t fall back to asleep afterwards. It makes me feel less alone and keeps me from playing the martyr in the middle of the night.

I appreciate the fact that my husband continues to be supportive of my dissertation and rarely draws attention to the fact that I have not held a “real job” since 2001.

I appreciate the fact that just tonight, we arrived home from our anniversary dinner to find the Bub still awake (we’re at my parents’ this week and Bub and his cousin are sharing a bedroom). The hubby invested almost two hours helping get Bub and his cousin to sleep. He fixed the baby gate after Bub busted it out of the door frame in an attempt to liberate himself and his cousin. He changed an enormous poopy (“Did Bub sit in tar?” my mom asked) an hour into the bedtime process. He was up and down the stairs no less than twenty times. He kept his sense of humor the whole time.

This post can’t do justice to how thankful I am to be married to the person I am. He is truly a gold star husband. NTB.


Special gold star for the hubby, who gave me an anniversary card and present on Thursday. Early no less, NTB.


The earrings are actually a combined five years and two boys present. I think he did a great job, NTB.