Hi, it's MEP, popping in to introduce another guest blogger here at NTB. Have I mentioned how much I love Facebook? Yes, I know, I know . . . it's a time suck and some status updates are TMI or obnoxious, but as a mother of small children, I find it's a reliable source of entertainment, laughter, support, and encouragement. Facebook has given me the opportunity to connect with people from all stages of my life, including today's guest blogger Sharon. She and I wore the same school uniform from second grade to twelfth grade and she is one of the only other persons I know who "vacations in Fairfield, OH." Sharon is smart, witty, and a talented writer (especially skilled in crafting hilarious status updates) -- plus a veteran mother of three and an awesome photographer. Enjoy her post and then check out her blog Watch It Byrne.
Here's Sharon . . .
I have just gotten into this blogging thing and one of the biggest dilemmas I have noticed (at least for me) is the name thing. What do you call your blog? What do you call your children, family and friends when “changing their names to protect the innocent” while writing the possibly-sordid details of your interactions for the entire world to see (and hopefully laugh at)? What identity do you saddle yourself with out there in the land of the Internet? Do ya go cutesy or use initials or some bastardized version of your real name? Perhaps this is just an extension of an identity crisis I have had my entire life……
My name is Sharon. Sharon Christine actually. I hated my name growing up. There were no other Sharons in my classes and I sooooo wanted to have a “cool” name- like Jenny. Or Amy. (Population 1 bazillion in my fourth-grade class alone.) I decided I was going to change my name. No more unique for me!!
I settled on “Christy.” I figured this name kinda tied in with my real name and so it might be an easy transition and there were already a couple of Kristy’s I knew. Perfect! I already went to a Catholic school and we had the whole uniform thing, so changing my name was the most effective way to complete my invisibility.
I thought and thought of how I was going to tell my parents that I was rejecting the name they had so lovingly picked in the months before my birth. I was thinking they might be pretty attached to the name “Sharon” – seeing as they had put it on my birth certificate and everything. (They really did. I checked.) But who knows. These are the same people who considered naming me Janet. Really? Janet? I wanted to prepare a speech. Something well thought out and raising many valid points.
Me: Mom and Dad, I have decided that “Sharon” doesn’t really suit me. I feel that with my hair and eye color, relative lack of friends in the “cool crowd” and the current state of today’s economic climate I would fare better in the fourth-grade world if we would just start calling me “Christy.”
Mom and Dad: You present a well thought out argument. Your wish is our command.
Or maybe I would just change it and hope that no one noticed- just started calling me Christy, thinking maybe they just had my name wrong all along.
Me: (brings home a report card labeled “Christy Byrne”)
Me: (pays brothers to use Christy when referring to me)
Mom and Dad: I have no recollection of a Christy living here, but I see a report card with the name Christy Byrne on it. That is our last name. Christy must be the girl we always see at the dinner table. Go figure. I feel bad for our faux pas of calling her Sharon.
What I finally settled on was this method:
Me: (crying) I hate my name.
Mom and Dad: (smirking) Why?
Me: (sobbing) Because! (Brilliant, I know.)
Mom and Dad: What would you like to be called?
Me: (sniffling and wiping snot on my sleeve) Christy!
Dad: (ignoring me) How about Fudgeface?
NOOOOO!!!!! I do not know where my father’s brain came up with Fudgeface. I shudder to think of the alternates that flashed through his mind before settling on such a messy and obviously ridiculous moniker. Did they all end in “-face”?
ClownFace? Nah. That’s kinda creepy.
PizzaFace? Maybe when she is older and the acne has set in.
AssFace? Probably shouldn’t call my daughter that…..
I backtracked quickly.
No, no. Sharon is great. I like it. Its unique- and we all know that is totally what ten-year-old girls are going for! Thanks for not naming me Janet, by the way. You guys are doing a stellar job in the parenting department. The meatloaf tonight was fantastic. And last Sunday, when you told me I was gonna go on the family outing to the apple farm to see just exactly how cider was made and LIKE IT- oh man. I totally had that coming. You were so right.
But it stuck.
Damnit.
My name is Fudgeface.
Fudgeface Christine Byrne
But you can call me Sharon.
Please.
Okay, bloggers, help Fudgeface/Christy/Sharon out. How did you choose your blog handle? How do you choose/use names for you and your family members on your blog? And blog readers, do nicknames confuse you when you read blogs? Any votes for best blog names? Please comment.
Don't forget to visit Watch It Byrne!
