The Notebook -- No, Not That One

During the months that I feverishly cleaned and decluttered our home in the hopes of selling it, I allowed myself, in my most hopeful moments, to imagine life in a new home. How I would decorate Sweet P's room with framed color copies of illustrations of literary heroines like Ramona, Anne of Green Gables, and Elizabeth Bennett. Maybe Bub could finally have a dedicated craft center. And wouldn't it be cool if we could have a living room that was more like a library than a sitting room. On one wall somewhere in the house I could feature various prints and paintings of cardinals, my very favorite bird (a whole post on cardinals and their significance to me is overdue). On and on.

When I began steeling myself for the disappointment of not selling and moving, I told myself that all my ideas could wait and maybe even better ones would come along. I found an unused composition book and decided to start recording all my plans and hopes and ideas. It's not really a journal because I don't write long entries or anything, but the notebook is more than and more special than a list. A collection? I'll just call it The Notebook for now. I started out collecting ideas for a new home, but it has turned into a spot where I collect all the things I want to do, try, remember, or consider someday. "Someday" could be next year or in twenty years. Someday might be tomorrow. I've collected references to recipes (i.e. "Melissa D'Arabian Chocolate Chip Rosemary Shortbread" and "Molly Wizenberg -- try pickling"). I've collected quotations (i.e. "The Measure of Love Is To Love Without Measure" from a plaque in my parents' house). I've collected names of books and websites I want to check out, craft projects I want to complete, and even two ideas for businesses (you know, for all my spare time). The Notebook makes me feel happy and hopeful and calm. I feel like a little squirrel storing away nuts for the long winter.

I'm planning to share more about The Notebook as I find the time to realize the hopes collected inside its pages.

One simple thing I had written down in The Notebook was to sort our children's books by theme. This idea is not all that clever as I know several organized moms who rotate books in and out all year. Christmas books come out after Thanksgiving, Halloween ones in October, and etc. Bub and I made an attempt to thematically sort the books during a nesting frenzy this past spring, but the end result is a bunch of books sorted into ziploc freezer bags and looking junky in the book cabinet. Since the books are consolidated in bags, it is easier to clean up when, as happens almost daily, the shelves get cleared. However, the bags also make it difficult to find out what's what.

I've decide instead to sort books by the month/season and to do it month by month, not all at once. I spent a few minutes this evening pulling books for September -- books about school(s), books about apples, and books to help Little Bit in learning his numbers, colors, and letters.

Because the Scholastic Book Order is my special mommy porn, I had no problem finding books for September inside our house, but I think it would also be fun to visit the library to collect books with a theme.

Can I just say how fun it was to choose the books? And how excited I am for Bub to see the special September book box? I know he is going to be so pumped up, and I hope that having this box might inspire us to read more and watch less Phineas and Ferb.

I like the feeling of making the most of some items that we already have and love the feeling that the kids and I may just be forging an awesome new family tradition.

Right now, I am loving The Notebook. My Notebook.

What do you think? What would you collect in your Notebook? Do you have one? Do you rotate books at your house? Any "September" books I should seek out? What literary heroines should be on Sweet P's walls someday when she finally has a bedroom and not just a corner of ours? Please share in the comments.

Please forgive the webcam photography. Also, please know that it is killing me that I have not yet adorned the September book basket with a colorful ribbon or possibly a cut-out of an apple.

All we want is for you . . .

I feel lucky to have grown up in a family where I knew for sure that the title sentence ends "is to be happy." My parents have always wanted me to be happy. I want the same for my own children.

For the most part, I am, have been, and plan to continue to be happy. But yes, sure, I could be happier. Probably most of us could be happier. . .

And since most of us could increase our happiness, I am begging you all to read the book I just finished: The Happiness Project: Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun by Gretchen Rubin.

Rubin decides one day while riding a city bus that though she is happy, she could be happier and sets out to examine happiness from all angles--historical, philosophical, literary, spiritual, psychological--and to embark upon her own year-long happiness project. Each month she focuses on a different area of her life and establishes 3-4 resolutions that she thinks will increase her happiness.

There is so much I loved about this book and her happiness project. I fear this post could go on and on, and I really want you to enjoy this book for yourself so I'm not going to say everything I could. I will just say that I was inspired by Rubin's specific resolutions and actions, by the depth of research she did, and by her enthusiastic call for others to create their own happiness projects. I seldom take notes when reading for pleasure (can't bear to do it after so many years in graduate school) and I did not take notes as I read, but I am telling you that I am going to reread The Happiness Project soon and with my pencil. On almost every page, I found myself thinking, "Yes, I totally relate to that feeling" or "That is an insight I don't want to forget" or "Wow" or "I need to think about this some more" or "I would really love to see what others think about that." This book has left me with more thoughts to think and, gift of all gifts, titles of more books that I want to read.

Most of all, I love to be reminded that, to quote Rubin, I can "change my life without changing my life." I can create the life I want, increase my own happiness and the happiness of those around me through my choices, actions, and thoughts. I feel inspired.

There are a lot of year-in-the-life/project-type memoirs out right now. I'm a sucker for them. Helping Me, Help Myself by Beth Lisick remains a favorite read. I recently finished Living Oprah by Robyn Okrant, which I also highly recommend; it was laugh-out-loud funny at moments but also very thoughtful and thought-provoking and not at all about taking cheap shots at Oprah or her fans.

The genre is great for revealing what a difference a year can make and for showing readers that it is always possible to keep learning, growing, having fun, challenging ourselves, and reshaping our lives.

I'm not sure yet what my personal happiness project will look like, but I cannot wait to get started and will be referring back to Rubin's book and her blog as I go.

After all, all I want is to be . . .

It's never too much to ask.

Don't Stop Believin'

I'm back. We've finally started getting a grip on things around the homeplace after our eight-day holiday road trip (which was awesome, by the way).

Low key New Year's around here. Last night, hubby and I ate pot roast, watched the first episode of Weeds Season 5 on his laptop, and ate some ice cream sandwiches from Trader Joe's. I turned in around 10:00 p.m.

Today, we tried to find spots for all the Christmas loot, did some laundry, took down the holiday decorations, and attempted to accomplish a bunch more stuff that is too boring to write about. I think hubby also spent some time fantasizing about a future in which this day will be devoted to eating appetizers, drinking beer, and watching bowl games without pleas to "turn on Tom and Jerry please, Daddy." Maybe someday.

Even though we did not ring in 2010 with much fanfare, I am, as ever, excited about the prospects of a new year and determined to make it a good one. So, without further ado, I share some of my resolutions for 2010:

1. Declutter and organize the house. Both projects are ongoing, but since we are planning to put our house on the market in a couple of months, there's a new sense of urgency. I'm not sure where to begin, but I think my strategy will just be to go one "problem area" at a time. In the spirit of this resolution, my much-neglected second blog, Just Use It or Lose It, will be revived in the coming days. Stay tuned.

2. Prepare better meals for my family and make better food choices for myself. Sure, I started today with McDonald's breakfast, but I had a salad for dinner. Progress already. The specific goal is to prepare three "real meals" a week for the hubby (kids eat separately due to daddy's late arrival in the evening). If I could get the kids to eat some of those "real meals," even better. Maybe I can cut down the number of times I answer hubby with "There are Lean Pockets in the freezer" to two or three times a month. Other sub-goals include: plan ahead, waste less money at the grocery store, use the food staples I already have, get the boys to eat vegetables,* and stop choosing breakfast foods that pair well with Diet Coke.

3. Move more. Six months (ish) pregnant, I am not about to start an ambitious workout program, but I could make an effort to ride the recumbent bike, do some of my low impact workout videos, and turn on the Wii fit every now and again. Shedding the baby weight was much more difficult after Little Bit than it had been post-Bub (proven by the fact that I started this pregnancy with some of my baby weight from the previous) so I need to start doing what I can to make the postpartum months less depressing from a weight/appearance standpoint. Again, I'm not talking about any crazy workout regime, just about making a little extra effort to move.

4. Initiate more plans. I have friends. I like eating. I like seeing movies. I enjoy cooking classes. I would love to go to afternoon tea. I enjoy face-t0-face conversations with other adults. Once Sweet P arrives in April, my ability to get out will be compromised for the next several months. I'm feeling like I need to start taking advantage of my lactation-free state right now and get out a bit more. All it takes is a phone call or email and a reminder to hubby that I'm heading out once he gets home from work.

5. Enjoy my life. I think I do a pretty good job of enjoying right now. Yes, I'm busy like most moms and feel exhausted and sometimes am tempted to play the martyr. But, I refuse to give up the things I enjoy, especially reading novels, watching television, blogging, and checking facebook. My house and life would be cleaner and more orderly if I cut out (or took less time for) these pleasures, but who wants a bitter, cranky mommy and wife around, not to mention a mommy who has no interests or passions?

6. Be more grateful and more positive. I'm not Debby Downer now, but there's always room for improvement.

7. Remove the Valentine's Sticker that has been stuck to a large window in our home since February of 2007. It's time. Potential buyers of our home may not feel the love when they see it.

8. Do at least one load of laundry a day.

That's all (and plenty) for now. You'll notice that these resolutions are not all that different from last year's or the year before that one.** The fact that I keep striving to achieve some of the same goals does not discourage me at all. It sounds silly to say so, but I honestly am filled with hope as each new year begins. And, more than that, I truly believe that one of these days I'll get it all together. I really do. In the meantime, I do the best I can.

What about you? Any resolutions to share? I'd love to hear about them.




*One glimmer of hope on the children's eating front is Little Bit's new interest in eating soup. Before Christmas, he attacked some Green Salsa Chicken Chili I made and today at lunch, he enjoyed some ham and bean soup my mom had made.

**I will remind you that I did finish my dissertation and graduate, which was a huge relief (and accomplishment, NTB).

But it's so hard to make things easy.

At preschool pick-up today, one of the moms was congratulating me on the pregnancy. She already has three kids and so I asked her, as I have been asking many moms lately, if she had any advice for me on managing three. She said she had received one piece of advice that was invaluable: "Never let a day go by . . . " I'm going to stop there and note that I was nervous that she was going to end the statement with something like ". . . without telling your kids you love them"--a sentiment I totally agree with and all but not the kind of practical wisdom I was seeking.

Instead, she said, "Never let a day go by without doing at least one load of laundry." Now, that's pretty sweet advice, considering that I waste time each day finding clean/semi-matching socks for the boys, clean pants for myself (even harder when pregnant), clean washcloths for bath time, a onesie to go under Little Bit's footie pajamas, and a decent top and bottom combo for Bub to wear to school. And then there's hubby with his pesky news bulletins like "Honey, I only have two pair of underwear left." For some reason I tend to save the laundry until there's almost nothing to wear. Then, I attack the huge mound and start sorting and end up with about seven or eight loads worth. That's silly.

My life would be easier if I tried to do one load of laundry a day.

I've brainstormed a list of other things I could do that would make my life easier.

My life would be easier if I . . .

. . . put the little potty into storage.
Bub does all his bathroom business on his own these days, and I am no longer abreast of all his movements. Literally. He pees into the regular potty but prefers the little plastic one for number two. That's all fine except that he fills without emptying. And, since he does it all on his own,* I don't realize that there's been poop resting in potty until I open the bathroom door and almost pass out from the stench. I know he can use the real toilet for all his needs so I should just put the little potty into storage. But what would I use to sit on (lid down) during bath time?

. . . ran the dishwasher every night before bed.
I prefer to delay running it until I can fill every last nook, cranny, and crevice.

. . . emptied the dishwasher first thing every morning.
Then, I sometimes wait to unload it until there are so many dishes waiting in the sink that they practically fill the newly-emptied dishwasher.

. . . were stronger about removing toys that threaten my sanity.
After two or so days of picking up 300+ MegaBlocks multiple times a day, I get a little testy. I tell myself, "Tonight, when the boys are in bed, I will re-hide the MegaBlocks." Then I forget about it until the big box gets dumped all over first thing in the morning. The tunnel thing that takes up the entire living room when unfurled creates a similar state of irritation and chaos that I often fail to troubleshoot effectively. These toys are good for one or two days at a time. Then Mama needs a break.

. . . took some time over the weekend to plan my meals and grocery shopping for the following week.

. . . kept a typed piece of paper in my purse that lists ingredients for the dishes in our weeknight rotation of family favorites.

. . . developed a weeknight rotation of family favorite dishes.

. . . emptied the recycling every evening.
If I did that then Little Bit would not spend a good portion of each day scattering items from the bin--junk mail, wine bottles, pop cans, newspapers--all around the house. Had I emptied the recycling last night though, Little Bit would not have been able to entertain himself with an empty (but, unfortunately, unrinsed) gallon of milk for over thirty minutes.

. . . graded 5-10 papers each day instead of saving all 42 for the night before they absolutely need to be returned to my students (which, in my mind, is before their next assignment is due so they can "learn" from the feedback from the previous paper).
My failure/procrastination in this area is just as frustrating now as it was in the late nineties when I had 80-something papers to grade at a time.

How am I doing?
I have a load of laundry in now.
All the dishes are in the dishwasher, but it's not nearly full so I can't bear to run it.
The tunnel and MegaBlocks are both currently in hiding. The Diego puzzle may join them if I remember.
I graded two papers this afternoon.

You know where this is headed . . . what could you do to make your life easier? Or, even better, what do you do, NTB, that makes your life easier? Please share in the comments.






*You may be thinking, "But, MEP, shouldn't you be wiping him?" No lie, it's a clean break every time. Kind of amazing, NTB.