Four Words For You

Four words for you: AS SEEN ON TV.

Four more: EAT YOUR HEARTS OUT.

Last night was Bub's school fundraiser, a St. Patrick's Day-themed event with beer, bands, Irish dancers, raffles, live auction, and silent auction.

No beer for me and we weren't there in time for the Irish dancers so I had to focus my party energy on the silent auction.

I am happy to report that I "won" the best item in the entire field and by "won" I mean that I hovered and outbid others for the privilege of buying it. My treasure was actually the class donation from Bub's class: a collection of As Seen On TV merchandise. All the parents in Bub's class contributed different items for the collection (I personally donated Bumpits and Aqua Globes), and there was some entertaining email traffic about who was bringing what. I thought it was the perfect themed gift basket for the kind of event where people are drinking and bidding on stuff that they don't really need.

Hubby and I had joked about the As Seen on TV Collection in days leading up to the event. "You," he said laughing, "are not going to be bidding on that." Tee hee hee. Of course not.

But I knew I wanted it. And I am tired and fat and pregnant and nesting and my birthday is coming up. So, guess what, I got it. NTB. And I could not be more thrilled.

Check it out:

First of all, I want to point out that the cart came with it! NTB.

Now, I want you to get an up close look at everything my awesome prize included.

Wonder Hanger, ShamWow!, StrapPerfect, Bendaroos, HeelTastic, and KidzBop 17 . . . NTB

PedEgg, Big Top Cupcake, Bumpits, Snow Slinger, Chia SpongeBob . . . NTB.

Marshmallow Shooter, The Clapper, Original SpaceBag, Fun Slides Carpet Skates . . . NTB.

The Original Always Fresh Containers, Topsy Turvy Tomato Planter, Pasta n' More,
Turn Your Drink Can Into a Bottle! . . . NTB.

Snuggie and AquaGlobes . . . NTB.

I realize that this "cart of crap," as hubby has been calling it, is the last thing that a woman who's about to have three kids and is trying to keep her house clean and clutter free in the hopes of selling it . . . the last thing that a woman like that needs.

I'm so excited though. I feel like the ten year-old girl who begged her mom for a Super Snacker after watching the infomercial with rapt attention over and over: "Mom, you can make your own mini apples pies with the Super Snacker." I feel like the tween who used to play infomercial in her best friend's basement (sample line from us demo-ing an item called The Big Green Machine, "And the best part . . . your kids will love to clean it up!"). The grown woman who can still be drawn in by the Magic Bullet infomercial and who seriously wants to try the Bumpit.

Plus, there was the additional pleasure of watching hubby wheel the cart of crap out of the gym last night. There is no way for anyone over five feet tall to not look like a hunchback when pushing such a cart to begin with, which was amusing in itself. At least ten people stopped us on the way out to check out the contents of the cart. I'm sure some were thinking, "Suckers!" but I honestly think others were like, "Dang, that is kind of cool." Yep, it is.

And, wait, there's more! This gift also provides raw material for at least twenty blog posts because I am committed to reviewing each of these items for you, my loyal NTB readers. Don't worry, it won't be As Seen on TV day everyday, but I will be writing about the items from time to time until I've tested them all.

So, please stay tuned or, better yet, call now to take advantage of this special television offer.

Let me know in the comments what As Seen on TV items have intrigued you . . .